A violent person can beat silence into a screaming victim. All it takes is enough pain, repeatedly applied, with the promise that if quiet comes the pain will stop. Many of us were given a whipping as a child and the whole time our mother or father switched our legs they said “Stop crying!!” And we did. We sucked it up and stopped the crying. And the whipping stopped! Like magic. That was called discipline. And it was supposed to make us better. Domestic violence does not make anything or anyone better. Well maybe the abuser, who becomes better at perpetrating acts of violence. The violent person also becomes better at achieving privacy about the violent actions. An abuser wants control. To get that control nothing is off limits. We’ve all heard some horrific story of violence. Hot grease, dragging on the street behind a car, doused with gasoline and set on fire, pistol-whipped, maimed or crippled, blinded, even killed: violent acts against women who trusted a man. And what do we do? We shake our heads sadly, hate that it happened, and go on with our day. The first time a man hits a woman he’s pledged his love to she usually can’t believe it happened. And then he says he’s sorry. She’s not going to tell anyone. If she did she knows that she’d hear: “Leave him! Now!” And she doesn’t want to hear that. Not now. Not while she still loves him. And believes him. Thus begins the private violence. Every time it happens after the first time she really believes it’s the last time. Why tell anyone if it’s the last time it will happen? And private violence sets up shop and lingers until something happens to bring it into the light. To end its private domain. Sometimes it’s death. But it doesn’t have to be. The documentary “Private Violence” is a very timely portrayal of domestic abuse. Not only do we see an abuser in action, we see the mindset of the victim. There are millions of domestic abuse victims in the world. And millions of people are pretending they don’t see it. Why? Could it be fear? A violent person invites fear. The violence is all about intimidation. And anger. At themselves. So not only is violence a private matter for the victim; it’s a private matter for the abuser as well. Because they have no idea that the person that they want to harm beyond measure is themselves. Read more information at:
Watch “Private Violence.” If viewing this type of violence stirs something up inside you: Go with it! Do something! Even if it’s only to find a shelter for domestic violence victims in your area and make a donation! “Private Violence” is a call to arms. The idea that violence begets privacy is not a false start. Unfortunately, it is true. Oh…so…true.